I've been going to the gym three times a week for almost exactly a month now, and it's time for a progress report. I don't hate cardio anymore (tho I do hate running, and probably always will). I can curl thirty pounds (up from 25) without any help from Travis. Every part of me is getting stronger, harder. I'm pretty much the only one who can see it yet, but I can definitely feel it.
My appetite, not just for food in general but for HEALTHY food, has increased markedly. Today, I actually made myself a sandwich. When was the last time I did that? Probably a year ago. But today, I made myself a sandwich on healthy bread with healthy ingredients, plenty of avocado, and I scarfed that sucker. Yes, I did. And I didn't even workout today! Have I gained any weight? ...Not exactly. But I definitely haven't lost any, which is what I was afraid of in the first place.
I love resistance training. I never thought I would find a form of exercise that I so look forward to doing, even on my days off--like today, where I am still so tired I actually had to take a nap. (horrors.) I'm excited to move to a place that is warm even during the winter months. I think this will help me stay motivated to keep going.
I love the idea that I--little, "fragile" me--can be strong. Can be toned. Can have this lovely, muscular body. Skinny doesn't cut it for me. I find "skinny" totally unsatisfying. It's not enough. Do I want to be slender? Well, yes. But more important to me is to look, and feel, strong. This (mostly) isn't for vanity's sake. It's because--as I mentioned--I hit bottom and the only way to go was up. Well, I'm at that euphoric stage of Up where my progress is made in leaps and bounds. Yes, I know I will plateau at some point. Though, seriously, I don't think that or Hell or high water, or really anything could stop me now. World, look out!
“And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” -Sylvia Plath
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6 comments:
i support this transformation 100%! is travis your personal trainer? seriously, pear. i'm proud of you! you are doing something empirically good for your bones and body . . . not to mention your mind and soul! keep it up!
oh, thanks for posting this - I need to do something... and this reminded me of the summer when I was working out. It helped motivate me to track myself and have small goals for the workout. When I stopped tracking I kind of stopped working at it. Remembering that might help me to get going again. Being strong feels so good.
Yes! Thanks for posting! I also needed a reminder. I went walking the other day for the first time in a long time and it was wonderful. I just need to drag myself and our beastly old stroller out the door a few more times and get myself a habit. And I may need to get myself some avocado. That sounds delicious.
Also, also, I'm so glad you are feeling good about it!!!
Fitness is a fantastic new addiction! Where warm are you relocating to...or is that just hopeful thinking coming out of winter in Utah?
Nance, we're moving to Vegas in June. So, I guess "warm" is an understatement, eh?
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