...even if you don't know me very well?
...or have known me too long?
...even if I'm too old?
...or (more likely) too young?
...even if I don't like the same things you do?
...watch the same things you do?
...read the same things you do?
...listen to the same music you do?
...eat the same things you do?
...dress the same way you do?
...look the way you do?
...even if I don't believe the same things as you?
...even though I believe in God?
...and evolution?
...knowing that I swear sometimes?
...or laugh sometimes at inappropriate things?
...even if our opinions differ?
...even though I didn't vote for the same person you did?
...even though I'm pro-choice?
...and pro-life? (It isn't a dichotomy.)
...even though I support gay marriage?
...and believe in the sanctity of marriage (They're not mutually exclusive.)
...even though I don't believe everyone should have a gun?
...but will have guns in my house nonetheless?
...even if it offends you that I hold so many opinions that society and convention say cannot exist in the same person?
...even if I don't have children?
...even if you do not like my friends?
...my spouse?
...even if I broke your heart?
...even if you broke mine?
Can you still be my friend even though we are separated by time and space?
I guess what I'm asking is, can you be my friend even though we are different?
I'll give it a go if you will.
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3 comments:
all very good questions and not asked frequently enough. I think, based on your list, we can be more than friends. ;)
I agree, it's a good thing to ask and write down.
It got me thinking. I guess there are lots of kinds of friendships and definitions of it. Some levels of friendship are more or less satisfying to people. But to me the essence is somewhere in the feeling that you are safe with that person because they value you for you.
By safe I don't mean never challenged, hurt, or frustrated with that person, but I mean that through it all you choose to truly care about them and they about you. So you work through those things. Your own list of who you are and what you think and how you behave usually evolves over time as you gain experience and reflect on it. You allow that same process in friends, too. Because you care you can't help but get into uncomfortable places with friends sometimes where you inevitably challenge the way each other is thinking, feeling, and behaving. But overall you cheer each other on, without undue comparisons, with true charity.
i agree with 'manda. i would add that friendship is often entered into by two willing parties regardless of 'matching' qualities. there are also friendships that have developed over long repeated exposure to the same person (acquaintances), however, i believe a true friend is one you choose to enter into because of or in spite of one's views, age, etc.
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