Yes, I'm pregnant. It is still strange to say it out loud. Pregnancy so far has been an intensely private, personal thing. Even between me and my husband. He probably doesn't understand that I think about it almost all day. Every day. How could I not? Every time my stretching abdominal muscles protest, or my sciatic nerve twinges, or I heave at the sight of a perfectly fine piece of pizza... it's just another reminder. I'm not complaining about these things. They are uncomfortable at times... but context is everything.
All of this is for Life.
Last week I went in for what is called a Nuchal Translucency Screening, which is an ultrasound done between 10-13 weeks to look for signs of heart defects or genetic disorder, and I saw my baby for the second time. Once, at 8 weeks, I saw a gray smudge with a strong heartbeat. This last time, at 12 weeks, I saw something that looked distinctly more human.
And... male! The sonographer surprised me by asking if I wanted to know the gender. I hesitated because I was alone and I thought maybe T should be there... "Can you tell this early?" I asked, incredulous. "Sometimes," she said. "Yes," I said. "Yes, I want to know." I felt we were having a girl. I was so sure we were having a girl.
But there was our boy. You can't see, but I'm smiling as I type this.
I felt melancholy a little while later as I thought about the girl I was sure was there. I felt the idea of her slip away, and it was oddly sad. But as I thought about the boy, as I let the consciousness of a HIM sink in, I began to want him as much as I had wanted her.
Now for the vital stats:
Gestation: 13 weeks
Gender: Male (80% certainty)
Weight gain: maybe 1 lb. (I'm actually trying not to weigh myself too much, so I'll only update this when I am weighed at the doctor's office.)
Maternity clothes: No, but I can wear all of my pants without a belt now.
Food aversions: Chicken. Meat in general. (It's a texture thing.) Peanut butter crackers. Sometimes cheese.
"Cravings": Peaches, yogurt. Pasta, ramen noodles. Sushi (always)
Milestones: Beginning of 2nd trimester. Chance of miscarriage drops dramatically.
Symptoms: Lots of gagging. Lots and lots of gagging. Occasional, mild back pain. And intense hunger. It sneaks up on me and then I feel gross. I have to catch it at the right time or it is hard to eat.
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8 comments:
Congratulations! I completely understand that constant thinking about this new life inside you as you also constantly think about whether you can eat what's in front of you. It is a very weird and beautiful thing that just gets weirder when you can feel little legs kicking you under the ribs. You'll be a fabulous mother. Good luck!
what a journey this new frontier of pregnancy is! i look forward to your context and commentary on all the developments of your maternity. congrats on baby boy mumford (with 20% uncertainly/hope it is actually a girl, there's nothing like a good surprise).
Wahoo 2nd trimester!!! Eat whenever you can and whatever you can. And keep blogging all those wonderful strange feelings. Make the most of this experience and catalogue it for the Boy. 13 weeks have already passed by...remember while you still can (sleep deprivation will take the rest of the memory away). God has blessed you!
Does that make this blog more "two turtle doves" which was arguably you and T, so now it is 3 french hens? You certainly are nesting (oh I couldn't resist the pun).
Woo hoo! Julie spilled the beans to me and I've been meaning to call and congratulate you but keep forgetting. Lets blame it on pregnancy :) I'm so excited for you guys and I thought that Wyatt was a girl so I totally understand the feeling. Both are fun in different ways! YAY!!
Love the way you describe all these feelings of early pregnancy experiences--especially how you described how one expectation slips away as you let it go but then another blooms into mind and you grab a hold of it and love it. I'm just nodding my head. Both boys and girls are wonderful. I just liked to know what my baby was so that I could start thinking of it as a he or a she and not an it and thinking of names--it all helped me start to bond. Hope you have some cold cereal around to get you through the wee sma's.
Aw yay, congrats! You'll be awesome parents. If you want to chat natural/informed childbirth stuff at all, it's a bit of a passion of mine, and there are a lot of great resources out there, but either way I'm so excited for you two!
Yay! A baby boy! You will be a great mom. I thought wrong about every single one of my fetuses.
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